Home > John Mayer
Recording/Sandwich Artist| 2,629,690 Fans ON FIRE! Chance of Friendship: Dream On! 5.3 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 0.9% Reply Rate 38.2% Link Posting Location: USA + Map | |||

...you have to be like "wait until you hear this fucking plan."
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

The problem is you have to store a super big vacuum box in your living room for a month. Then when people ask you what gives with the box...
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

Hey everyone! Oreck is offering a 30-day trial, and they'll even pay return shipping! That's like renting a vacuum free for 30 days!
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

David Abbot claims he cheated because Shannon put everyone else first. Don't be a David Abbot. http://twitpic.com/q7l76
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

Try the Cricut Expression in your home for only $33. Find out more at getmycricut.com or by calling 1-800-324-1117!
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

Persuant to new FTC regulations, I am required by law to disclose that I am endorsed by getmycricut.com, makers of Cricut Expression.
Updated about 13 hours ago via Permalink

Thanks, but I just gave up. Attempting legendary status tomorrow. RT @AAgalsoff congrats on a stellar release. Party your face off.
Updated about 15 hours ago via Permalink

I'm entering the 24 hour-awake mark, but I'm partying my face off. Because if not on release week, then when?
Updated about 16 hours ago via Permalink

Theory: these promotional schedules are left over from a bygone era when everyone in music was coked out of their minds.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink

LOL!!! :P RT @cnnbrk Belgian prime minister named first "president of Europe,” UK prime minister says. http://bit.ly/1bIlwz
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink

Just met Robert Pattinson, his wife Cheryl and two children Emily and Jason. They live in Taos, NM. Sweet little family.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink

@taylorswift13 let's bedazzle something!
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink

LOL RT @cnnbrk Sources: CBO estimates Senate health bill would cost $849 billion over 10 years. http://bit.ly/3tVRud
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink

CNN Headline News tweets should call themselves what they really are - Comedy Buzzkill. Try putting an 'LOL RT" before them. See?
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

Welcome to One Forty Plus. And Welcome to "Teh Battle Study." http://bit.ly/4G6zb9
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

I don't own any material good or an opportunity in life that wasn't given to me by my fans. Touching my stuff like I was high on E.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

I was recently asked if I wanted to have a Behind The Music. What's the angle? "Then, in 2006, Mayer got a coital headache." (No.)
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

Thanks NY for the great show. Thank you fans for the opportunity to shine. May you all feel like I did tonight.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

I love this! RT @jordyenglish [JM] says "heart" 44 times and "love" 37 times in Battle Studies. I wonder what kind of theme he's going for.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

We have a winner of the two tickets. Lest anybody ask some other man in an ascot for a smoke.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

Ask the man in the ascot if he has a smoke.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

Anybody outside the Beacon looking for tickets?
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink

The downside of no longer having youthful arrogance: you can't dope yourself up with pride. The upshot: others finally can.
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink

Way to mess that one up, me.
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink

The upshot of no longer having youthful arrogance: you can't dope yourself up with pride. The upshot: others finally can.
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink
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