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Recording/Sandwich Artist | 3,026,318 Fans ON FIRE! Chance of Friendship: Dream On! 4.9 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 1.9% Reply Rate 48.8% Link Posting Location: USA + Map |  @johncmayer Official Site | |
Even if I knew where to buy Odin's Fury - and I don't - but even if I did, I'm just saying my guy Corey is away in Nashua, NH.
Updated about 2 hours ago via Permalink
I need to stop taking pills with names that are palindromes: Xanax, H-Coninoch, Lipilipil, Seresiseres XR, Odin's Fury
Updated about 3 hours ago via Permalink
What's that song that goes "It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?" I like that one.
Updated about 3 hours ago via Permalink
And that's what adulthood is: you wake from the nightmare and realize there's no bigger bed to climb into.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
Remote control on the floor means "please wash." Remote on the night stand means "I'll use again."
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
I like to dry off after a shower with the comforter. My room, my rules.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
I'm the hotel guest your local news investigator warned you about.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
But now I'm too excited for this new crying style to be sad. And that makes me mad as hell. RT @derekmcooper Invent a new way of crying
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
Special brand of Sunday night, that one on tour with the night off... I'm either going to cry like a baby or invent something.
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
Just opened a new mental account for LP5... I love it when that little birdie flies in and says "there's more to write."
Updated 1 day ago via Permalink
Someone in J-ville take this beauty out! RT @claireparrishh {JM} and his guitar is the only thing able to soothe my loneliness tonight..
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink
I took the CEO out for Skee-Ball and Go-Karts and never called again. RT @Dogging_UK Why is E! always dogging @johncmayer ?
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink
Best review ever!!! Thank you. RT @masontwain Loved that you don't put on a show, you are the show.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink
I don't know why some iPhone apps have the word "Pro" in them. How am I supposed to make a living using an alarm clock?
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink
It feels like a Saturday. I know today is Saturday but it feels more like a Saturday from three weeks ago.
Updated 2 days ago via Permalink
Feels good to make music again. I don't really do anything else all that well, so it's nice to be back.
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink
Hey, Tampa - what song would you like to hear in the encore with just an acoustic guitar tonight?
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink
Heard I was mentioned on 30 Rock last night. Don't know if it was a dig or not, but either way I'm psyched. Love that show.
Updated 3 days ago via Permalink
Home sweet home away from home... http://twitpic.com/11e6xq
Updated 4 days ago via Permalink
http://twitpic.com/11dczr - I love this sentiment. (Via Norse Projects.)
Updated 4 days ago via Permalink
Just saw the new John Mayer promo pics. I'm really happy for you, @markhoppus. Have a great tour! http://bit.ly/byMtvF
Updated 4 days ago via Permalink
My life on the road is a lot like '70s Fleetwood Mac, except instead of cocaine it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Updated 5 days ago via Permalink
3.65930571 I won the Field's medal in mathematics. That's Ms. Field's. RT @iamsandruhhh do you know the cube root of 49?
Updated 5 days ago via Permalink
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