Home > Russell Brand

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@rustyrockets
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From russellbrand.tv: http://www.russellbrand.tv/2009/11/1232/
Updated about 13 hours ago via

@katyperry The police are there to guard the zit you egomaniac. Let the zit close the show with you. Good luck. x
Updated 6 days ago via

Right. I've done it. Why do I spend my life apologising to people "for fings I never done"? Actually... Is Andrew Sachs on here?
Updated 6 days ago via

Thanks everyone for @redrio. I'll tweet and apologise. Does anyone know if his jumper is on here? Or does it think it's too cool?
Updated 6 days ago via

I'm the new Gordon Browm, I mean Brown- The jumper is snug.SNUG! It looks like I'm having a go.What shall I do?Blame those cumts at The Sun?
Updated 6 days ago via

I wrote The Sun's Bizarre column today with a pen. I described Rio Ferdinand's jumper as SNUG not SMUG. Damn my handwriting. Is he on here?
Updated 6 days ago via

13mins. I pronounce myself the #worldrecordtopictrendcommentator. Do I get a medal? See you at the signing tomorrow. x
Updated 7 days ago via

I have now commented on each trending topic. Scandalous DVDs will be signed in HMV, Oxford St W1 tomorrow at 530. But what with? x
Updated 7 days ago via

Modern Warfare 2 sounds like it might be trivialising the horror of war on remembrance day. What's next? Paedophile boxing 3? For Christmas?
Updated 7 days ago via

#wecoolanallbut I'm not entirely comfortable with this vernacular style. Could we say #we'rejollygoodbutwouldyoumindawfully ?
Updated 7 days ago via

Chris Brown I hope you're being nice to Snoopy.
Updated 7 days ago via

Gucci Mane is a hair-do for posh Italian lions.
Updated 7 days ago via

#bbcqt Come on. It's been a year. Can I have my job back?
Updated 7 days ago via

#thankyoudonnie for removing the spaces from that sentence.
Updated 7 days ago via

#rememberdecember this will not be possible for another 18 days without a time machine and a limited budget.
Updated 7 days ago via

Google Wave was an 80's haircut abandoned by Duran Duran for being "too elaborate".
Updated 7 days ago via

#donttrytohollaif You have damaged your vocal chords screaming apologies into a smeared mirror.
Updated 7 days ago via

#youknowyouruglyif you masturbate in the mirror then when you finish demand an apology from your reflection.
Updated 7 days ago via

I am celebrating the release of Scandalous DVD by commenting on each trending topic RIGHT NOW. TIME ME.
Updated 7 days ago via

From 5.30 Friday 13th I will be signing my Scandalous DVD in HMV Oxford St, W1 - Not necessarily with a pen, so for God's sake wear goggles.
Updated 7 days ago via


From russellbrand.tv: Russell and Frank Skinner - before a gig http://bit.ly/3M7Qyq
Updated 11 days ago via

I'm off to meditate now, though unless enlightenment includes Richard Pryor and Bobby Moore caressing me to orgasm how can this be improved?
Updated 14 days ago via

Yes I will be taking her to a game - West Ham Vs Everton. And, before it begins, no I won't be taking her up the Arsenal. x
Updated 14 days ago via

Wow. Now MY GIRLFRIEND has worn a West Ham basque while hosting the EMA's. What a day!I might revive Gandhi and ask if he wants to be mates.
Updated 14 days ago via

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